It's been a strange day. I've been in a funk since I woke up, and I can't seem to shake the feeling that I am missing something right in front of my eyes. I don't know if you ever have this feeling, or if you just think I'm crazy, but I just feel overcome by too many emotions at once. So, instead of feeling happy, sad, or upset, I feel everything at once and am walking around in a daze today. I had hoped to talk through this with my friend, but you will be my friend for the moment until that changes.

I originally thought that the next few weeks of school before Thanksgiving break were going to be difficult, but I was wrong; they're going to be murder. I have papers, I have projects, I have readings, I have clubs, and somewhere in there I have to find time for myself and my friends. Sounds like fun doesn't it. Oh well, I'm used to it by now. I'm really not complaining about it, just amazed at how easy it's been for the month of October. It made me soft to the fact of what would be coming in the near future.

I went and heard an amazing speaker tonight. Her name was Kathy Kelly (I'm pretty sure). She has been up for the nobel peace prize, and recently came back from time spent in Iraq. The stories she told were so powerful and heartwrenching that I didn't know what to think afterwards. I've been having many of these situations recently. Something that will come up that will alter my perspective on life for the teeniest of moments. The best I can do is try to hold on to as much of that moment as possible and adapt it into my everyday life. I am always trying to be a better person, however I am not near complete.

There are many things I am lacking, but I think the most obvious is somebody I love. Now granted I am not out searching long and hard for this person because I realize that I just have to end up with this person through fate. But in order to ever come close to completeness in my better person, I first must be seen through eyes of someone who loves me more than the word can justify. I've felt this way before, but it sadly fell apart. Hopefully this feeling will be reawakened in the future, the nearer the better.

back to life - forth to uncertainty