Dream Meets Reality

10/28/2003 - 6:35 p.m.

Music : Hallelujah as recorded by Ari Hest - powerful

Mood : Everything seems wrong, but for once not with me

Random Proclamations from Me, Myself, and I : What's so special about tonight?

Surreal Night

Ok, I'm officially freaking out a little. So, I got off of work at 5, and everything was feeling a bit odd to me. I wrote it off to the fact that I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in 5 days, but it kept getting worse. Finally at 5:45, I was eating dinner with my friend in the cafeteria. Nothing was right from the start. . .

We walked in, and it felt as if we weren't even there. We just stood there looking around as the world moved by. The people didn't seem right, the place didn't seem right, even I didn't seem right. We slowly staggered our way around to get our selective meal and sat down to eat it. Finally, he looked up at me and said, "Dude, what is going on?!?" Now this was such a relief because I thought I was just flipping out, but he felt it too.

It was as if the sounds were brought down to a mumble, even though the people were all talking loudly around us.If you tried to look at the other people they all looked to be in a blurr, but the cafeteria itself was in sharp focus. We finally made it out of there in a state of confusion, but outside was no better. It felt like it was 2 a.m. (you know what I mean if you've been out at that time), but it was definitely only 6:15. I'm confused, a little freaked out, and curious. For it couldn't just be weirdness inherent in me, because my friend felt the exact source of oddity that I felt. At this point it must be mentioned that no drugs are ever in our systems, so this was a fully realistic surreality. Make of it what you will, I surely don't know what to say.

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back to life - forth to uncertainty

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"When it was over, all I could think about was how this entire notion of oneself, what we are, is just this logical structure, a place to momentarily house all the abstractions. It was a time to become conscious, to give form and coherence to the mystery, and I had been a part of that. It was a gift. Life was raging all around me and every moment was magical. I loved all the people, dealing with all the contradictory impulses - that's what I loved the most, connecting with the people. Looking back, that's all that really mattered."

-Waking Life

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